WHY ALWAYS ME?

“All the same feeling of fear and threat started running throughout my body as I saw him straight after five years. It’s been more than five years I had seen him and had somehow moved on from it. I left that place immediately.”

“It all started when I was just 12, unaware of anything I was going his home to play with his newly born son and he started playing with me. I used to accept chocolates and many more things given by him as he was just another uncle from my neighbourhood.”

“One day I went to his house along with my friend to play there, got to know that Aunty and the baby had left for their maternal home. He was all alone in his house. He convinced both of us to enter his house, watch TV and play. We were watching TV when he sent my friend to buy some sweets from outside. I was all alone in the Hall and suddenly he came out of his room completely NAKED. I got completely frightened and wanted to run away to my home, but the door was locked. He grabbed me and started touching me inappropriately. I was completely unaware of what he was doing with me at that time and currently unable to recall everything. I could only remember that I was crying so much in pain. He scolded me and threatened me to not tell anyone anything about this incident. He told me that he will kill me and my parents if I open my mouth. I went running my home all crying and locked myself in my room.”

“I was in complete fear and did not tell anyone anything about this incident. My parents were busy in their lives unaware of anything and I was unaware how they will react. I stopped visiting his house.”

“Few days passed, he started visiting my school waiting for me outside the school gate. He started apologizing me and told me that he loves me. He started taking care of me. I was such a fool that I accepted money and chocolates from him. He started manipulating me. He started blackmailing me and convinced me to visit his house again. I started loving him back and started visiting his house regularly. Those were the days when he had a fight with his wife and she had left his house with the baby. He was living completely alone in his house. I was unaware of my emotions and fell into the trap of Stockholm Syndrome. I misunderstood it as love and started thinking of marrying him one day. Somehow I was feeling loved.”

“I was really good in studies, started working even harder and was becoming topper of my class every year such that no one could even sense anything that I was going through. I grew up like this, alone, no friends, nothing other than him.”

“Meanwhile, after a few years, his wife came back with his son. He told me that he can't leave his wife and can't marry me. Suddenly one day he moved out of the city with his family and it all stopped. I was hurt, started feeling so lonely and cheated, had no friends to share my emotions and got into depression.”

“As days passed I started socializing, slowly I was able to understand what the hell I was going through in those five years. I started hating myself. No one was there to help me. Those were the days I was feeling suicidal. My parents used to fight so much and I did not want to disturb them. They never cared to know what the hell l was going through. Months passed, I started reviving slowly, I completely diverted my focus on my studies. I prepared for the PMT Examination and cracked it in my first attempt.”

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This drastic story was narrated by a girl in my contact. She felt really better after sharing her burden with me. She gave me the consent to write her story the way I’ve written it without disclosing her real identity.